Breaking news: I am Gay...

The male zombies are uncomfortable with their sexuality. Hence, the unleashing of the female zombie. This goes out to all my 'MO's. That's shorthand for homo sapienss

바나나

On a happier note...

These shoes were quite original. Here's an article about them. I was a big fan when he was on the 76ers.

-Schmootzie

On TV this week...

I cribbed this off of a couple odd-story watching sites. I also pretty regularly watch 60 Minutes.. Anyway, rather then play politics too much and comment on it, I'll just let everyone watch this and make their own decisions. Wal-Mart is really in just about every game huh? Its only 1% of world gold trade and all that, but this seems like a pretty easy problem to solve and instead its just getting lip service.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

Holy Youtube remix...

Yea another nothing post...just thought I would share this with ya'll

peace,

One Love

Black Friday/Turkey Day

Its Turkey day weekend aka Black Friday weekend aka the weekend that will revive the world wide economy, so we are busy. props to D-Mass from our sponsor (knowsomething.ca) who won 1000 free spins on Jango for his Nu Jazz track "New Nu" apparently this is the first track on his upcoming 4x4 project. He wants us Faster Zombies to do a remix, and the debut Fast Zombies track is in the works.
peace,
One Love.

PODCAST 2 coming soon!!

Yeah, our multi-terabyte music collection keeps the podcasts crackin..

Welcome To Crumbville volume 2 coming 12/15/2009...

Think weirder then the first, but still pretty solid with everything from

Mort Garson to the Chromatics folks.. We got alllllllllll bases covered over here.

Speaking of the first, Welcome to Crumbville volume 1

mix, if you don't have it, get it!

Good puppy.

FNORD PT. 3 (The final installment)

FNORD

Ok folks, this one is going to be short. First I explained how I felt that given the state of the world in 2009 conspiracy theories in music and art in general are a waste of time. Secondly we zombies presented our own conspiracy theory, thus contradicting my stated desire and made an even more important point about these "theories" in general. I think that until all of us stop playing both sides of the game whether it be in business or blogging or anything else, there will always be conspiracy theories because very little actually makes any sense.

So let's stop that s--t... Below are three pictures from Chonquing China from this site. Do you know much about this city? Neither do I, except where it is, but instead of just sitting there twiddling my thumbs I decided to put up these pictures. Click on them to see bigger ones. Its amazing how the internet allows all of us to explore everything huh? We can't wait to see the next generation of conspiracy theories either. Bring it on paranoid folks! ;P

The internet enables exploration! wow! neat-o!

Anime from Russia? Dope soundtrack? Yuppers...

Today, Faster Zombies provides a link to an award winning anime WWII flick with a soundtrack by DJ Krush. Click above, its worth checking out..
In further news, scroll below for the beats left off of Blueprint 3 and a bit more...
Don't be outpaced by faster zombies folks..

Oh yeah,





venetian typeface anyone?

I just though I would share this with ya'll

If you don't know about the Blueprint 3 Outakes... consider this your wake up call.
Go download one of the sickest things I've heard in a minute here....
peace,
One Love

this should hold'em

Beat making series in the worx...
right after I cover some budget recording gear.
One Love

YEAH...... IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Enjoy your friday night humans! My work week's about to start..

-Schmootzie

Friday night

Yea I got better things to do than actually post something intelligent on a Friday night....



Everyone have fun tonight...I know I will.
Getting a series on making music with no money together...;)
One Love.

FNORD PT. 2

Hi London... I missed you...

FNORD (<-- haha??)

So, previously I presented a concept that conspiracy theories in art (mostly music) are themselves a conspiracy. The purpose of which is too keep us stupid (haha! cheap shot! I know I know). I previously articulated my opinion that more art should be focused on things that us regular folks can do to change stuff we actually can.

Below is a possibly existent conspiracy (the horrible ipod headphones) THAT WE CAN DEFEAT by wearing good headphones, and not turning them up too f--king far!

In further concepts, what does it mean about us that we say NO to conspiracy theories in arts, then immediately follow that stance with our own theory? It means that we are doing it too. It means that the most obvious things that manipulate us or our opinions are often fought by the very people who profit from doing so. We all live in a world where as R.A.W. says the mafia and the government are kind of interchangeable. Just like us, every time you say one thing and do another, you too are yourself a very small scale conspiracy theory! Sure you look like the average Joe or Jane, but behind the scenes you're a superhero right? You can't be figured out.

Ear buds and the Apple conspiracy to destroy the record industry as we know it ;)

What's up with Earbuds?

They are sooo uncomfortable, yet so popular.

There is a reason that these things are so prominently displayed in I POD ads

It's because they are Apple's tool of destruction ;)

Forget I Pods and I Tunes...Earbuds are the real reason why the major labels are in trouble.

That's why these tools of mass distraction come free with every I Pod, and why they are in all the adverts.

Think about it, before I Pods these things were called "in ear headphones"

Who wants a pair of "in ear headphones" ...noone!!!

But through Apple's massive marketing machine now everyone walks around with these things in their ears.

When the world was still captive to Sony discman with 4x read ahead to prevent skipping (and they always skipped anyway) and Rio's (remember the original badass mp3 player)

Quik post...

I am too tired to do a full post right now so here is a hint at the post I am getting ready for tomorrow.


try to watch it till he does his "dance"

One Love.

FNORD

FNORD

Let's get our conspiracy theories on... Or rather the destruction of all of them. This is to say that I hope to discredit the value of seriously talking about conspiracies at all. While this is probably impossible, I believe there are some places where I can hope to make a dent. Let's start with the use of them under a serious context in artistic form, as it is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

We'll start with the video below of Robert Anton Wilson, who is the co- author of the Illuminatus Trilogy, one of the world's most popular pieces of conspiracy fiction. His ideas on conspiracies strike a good chord in my opinion.

Here's a simple question, since it is 2009 and pretty obvious that the whole world is changing faster then ever before:

Can conspiracy theories stay out of music and art in general? Unless of course they are part of it in a fictional way that may allude to real life?

Remix Culture Today pt.3 (The Conclusion of the history lesson)

Things I am not going to get to in this series (though I will probably revisit them later)
You should check this stuff out...
Blend DJ Culture (I am talking DJ's using 4-track recorders to create mashups long before mashup was a term).
Dancehall/Hiphop (A New York based phenomenom that combined Dancehall and Hiphop spearheaded by people like KRS-1, Mad Lion, Dougie Fresh with Lil' Vicious, Jamalski etc.)
Lil Jon's Dynamic Duo remix of Capelton's Tour
And last but not least Italian Disco.

All of this stuff played a big part in setting the foundation for today's Mashup scene whether they realize it or not (at least some of us realize it)...but I can't cover it all...

Anyway let's get back to bizness....

Melodies (as in a song which is made up of several popular songs played in succession) were made popular in the Big Band period.
By the Disco period tape editing had progressed to the point that Melodies were bieng created in studios by expert engineers editing multiple songs together into "mega mixes"
here is how tape editing is done:

Looks like fun no? I actually learned how to do this when I was a tiny kid back in 94...basically the wider the angle at the cut the longer the fade in/out. Anyway back to the story....
Eventually an engineer known as Double Dee meets a DJ named Stienski and the art of editing music together was never the same again...I'll let Stienski tell the story.

Remix culture today pt.2 (Origins)

So where did all of this begin?
Before we get into what we now consider a remix, we got to look at the avante-gaurde particularly Cage. There are some other "modern" composers who followed similiar ideas (but too much of this stuff would be boring).
I only mention Cage because it seems that modern remixers/bastard pop artists etc. seem to be influenced by him and his conterparts...and because what he did happened before "remixing" really got going I got to start with him. (Check out his philosophy on sound and silence).



Remix culture as we know it started with Dub...and if anybody thinks that somehow King Tubby (Prince Tubby's mentor) or Prince Tubby (the widely accepted inventors of Dub) had ever heard of John Cage or Gould or any one else making "modern" music you are crazy...Dub sides started as a way to fill space on the back of records, and progressed into an artform of its own.



enough of this bizness in part three of this series we look at the 80's and "megamixes"

but for now check this out

peace,

One Love.

Remix culture today pt.1

When I was a kid new records came out every week. I still remember when I bought that OGC album.

Thing is when a new record comes out every week, they all get equal chance to shine and an equal shot at my allowance.
But now records come out in clumps...every one wants to release their record on Sept 11th or some other significant date. No one wants to release their record on some random winter weekend.

So what do we do? Do we sit around waiting for the new 50 Cent album that we know isn't going to be as good as his last mixtape because he has to go for radio play?

I know what I did...I started to surf the net looking for the best remixes I could find.
The words mashup/ cutup/and remix replaced words like 12" single in my vocabulary.
Remix culture has been around for longer than a lot of people even realize, and we will be covering this in a series of posts titled "Remix culture ..." you get the point.

Lets just start this series by introducing you to the "coolest" thing since The Grey Album

Of course what I am talking about is the Black Keys teaming up with alot of Hiphop's best on this new Blackroc.



Everyone already knows about it, but I got to admit...as smug as I might act....I'm actually excited about this one.
This genre bending record might just be the shot in the arm my Hiphop collection needs...

One Love.

Mash-ups and youtube = dope. Walk it out.

Yeah, we know this is an oldie, but it sure is a goodie too.

Paper enters the shoes hustle!

What? <-- Click on "Shoes." Lady Gaga obviously is on the waiting list for these.

Ladies? What do you think?

Talking trash? Entertaining dreams of figuring out who we are? Guess what morons, you've all got a....

Try playing nice kiddies. First up, see below, and please guess as to the contents of the podcast, second of all peep this (click "open" = dope design!), add a little more flare then imagine what we've got for 2010. Check out our new icon (<-- get some free ones) soon, in fact rookies, make your own, lets battle. Keep yapping morons if you think this is all a ruse..

Don't get the gas face masses. Use your minds. Otherwise?

-Schmootzie

Welcome to Crumbville Volume 1.. The podcast is here folks!

In honor of the kids these days, from Philadelphia to everywhere else, we present Welcome to Crumbville: Volume One !!! It is a .zip file, its not that big... If you can't unzip it then your computer is not worthy of our input and perhaps should be returned to the props collection from Total Recall.

Name every track on here (should be impossible, even for record store owners) and get a free prize. Send guesses as emails (ultrafastzombie@gmail.com), an 18 out of 18 is the goal here. Guess right and get a free FasterZombies T-Shirt from our buddies at Lan Am airlines. All you've got to do is guess, then wait for us to tell you that you were right.

DJ's feel free to steal from this, just remember where you got it.

-Schmootzie

** (Added by another Zombie)

I got D-Mass to edit the ID tag and upload and un-zipped version of the podcast on the Know Something server...not bad for a guy who can't even finish his own website ;)

Thanks D, you can download the podcast unziped here.

The Pre-Crumbville video attack.

In lieu of the delay on this podcast (it needs more sound effects and less cocaine sex? Huh?) from these zombies I will give you a few introductions to crumbville... Word. It is a wonderful place isn't it?

Milk b--ch!!



Okay Korea... We see you... This disturbs me.

Okonomiyaki kicks a$$! Cook it yourself!

Mmmmm! Oishi ( <-- spelling?)

It's coming...

The first podcast is coming soon....I know we said it was supposed to be today but...
meh, like you care...just stay tuned....
for the mean time feast on this smorgasbord of debauchery....

Technology...

Virual Graffitti?

WiiSpray Teaser from Martin Lihs on Vimeo.

Apparently, some kid named Martin Lihs and everyone's favorite maker of aerosol paint (Montana) have some thing to do with this thing....[link]
It seems that now all four elements can be done in or with the assistance of some sort of virtual product...
With DJ's you got DJ Hero

Some "Real DJ"s are using gear that is like a video game these days anyway...well sorta..you decide.

B-Boys got

And rap has got

OK maybe not...I guess that we are still waiting for RAP Hero

Hiphop music/culture has become so mainstream that nothing is a surprise anymore.
So this is what it means to be part of a dominant culture?



One Love

miscellaneous stuff that you should see according to me

First of all, don't kidnap autistic kids to chase squirrels. Then check this out:





Now the first annual Asian commerical battle. You choose. The first hails from South Korea:

Next stop, shampoo from China featuring BABIES!:

And now Japan with English. Yay!:

Now Taiwan, with chewing!

This one we think is the winner. Thailand. Awesome:

Malaysia. Spicy curry. Dumbo:

Enjoy Saturday folks... 1st Podcast Debut 11/13/2009

Since 9 is my lucky number... (actually its 8)

Bang bang folks, my first podcast (this is a solo project, however our collaborative projects will follow soon)

is coming the 13th.. It ain't friday, but other podcasters..

Step your game up!

90% likelihood you haven't heard a lot of it before,

0% chance it will stick to one genre or decade..

The following video is a clue as to where I'm headed..

-タングステン9

Podcast coming soon...

 

Before we release our first Welcome to Crumbville podcast, we need to brace everyone for the impact.  Basically, its time to admit things.  In order to be "honest" with our "fans" we must say the following.

The reason we have decided to start this "blog" now, is so that it is released slightly before this happens.. If you didn't already know folks,  Google is going to give internet to THE PLANET!  That's some Nikolai Tesla crazy sh-t if I've ever seen any.  Speaking of crazy stuff check this out.  F--k an Ipod, 2010 is all about the Airpod.  If only they could just lower the price, and stop being French (sarcasm folks, calm down), the world would embrace this invention with open arms.


Anyway, in other and obviously more important news, let's talk turkey...  Pay attention.  This is really deep!  Its about time we compared professional athletes rap skills..  Don't you think?  You could buy this album (I do NOT recommend this), search the blogosphere for the gems out there, read this, or just listen to the following.

Our first battle is that old NFL vs. NBA players rap skills debate:  

Presenting Andre Rison vs. Jason Kid..

First Up.. Andre Rison (featuring Ghostface in honor of his fragicalisticness obviously) with no video of course.

Second Sr. Kidd... 

You decide!

*bonus material...(added by another zombie)

-Schmootzie

Mysterious mysteries pt. 1

Whatever happened to TM Schnieder?
I know he is still putting out records...but not bangers like this one.
Royksopp was dope to.

At least Armand Van Helden is still doing his thing.
with A-Trak

Which is ironic since the last time AVH had a record I was into
A-Trak was still doing this...

peace,

One Love

Sleeveface!

Collect and sleeveface folks..

Submit them to us, we'll make you famous..

If my partners don't want to then I'll make you famous.

I'm digging this video.

-Schmootzie

2 Random tracks from my MP3 player

Here are two Random artists that you should have on your MP3 player already...
If you don't, then go download them immediately and pretend like you've known who they are for the last two years...
 
The first one is easy, Dances With White Girls; born and raised in Philly, lives in Brooklyn NY
and he makes banging tracks on an old beat up laptop.



Scion Radio 17: Dances With White Girls Interview from Scion A/V on Vimeo.

Let's see what the next random track on this thing is....
Shinichi Osawa...he practically is the one man Japanese reaction to this whole new Electro thing so you already know who he is...(if not just pretend like you do)

Meh, these tracks are too easy...next time I am going to go deeper in the vaults....

-One Love

Conspiracy Theory? Crazy Fan?

A quick post.. 
Is this comedy? I hope so.

Perhaps this is this the work of a nerd/genius with an idea that will shock the core of the NBA?

You be the judge! 

Also... Don't submit videos like this to us, even if they are awesome.

Seriously!

-Schmootzie

Got this in google search? Click the banner on the top of this blog to see our newest posts. Or read this drivel, then, go cry in the corner...

Hello Kiddies, We have arrived.  Applaud if you must.  Just don't be too loud, you will wake up the baby zombies.  Click the banner above (if you didn't read the post title...) to see the blog if you've googled your way here... 

Or read the following,

(and cry in the corner). 

First up, we are not what we have seemed to be, we are not what may be expected of us, and we don't have borders. Our sun doesn't set, we may even have to sleep in caves just to get some zzz's, as a dark sky in our empire is hard to come by. More so, that is not our Pink Tank (see picture below) however we do own a few. Those two in the picture are not us, they are no more then models we contracted. In fact they are just two guys we found in a bar. The guy with the Japanese girls uniform on his face creeped us out. We don't know him at all.

In short, we are like the walking dead, we exist on your screen, and in real life, maybe.. Perhaps only in the realm of your imagination. Thusly we are similar to zombies. Unlike those slow "human-escque" creatures though, we are FAST. In real life.  like.. Real fast.. Our time zone doesn't exist, we wear quite nice clothing, AND we have a bigger music collection then your favorite DJ (unless that's us, assuming we do DJ) and other things too. That's right b--ches (- for the children), OTHER THINGS TOO. What are they? Well, we've got other things that out-cool you and your mating magnets across the board. Face it blog-u-manity, we out-cool you, your trust funds, your outfit, and even our own sarcasm. We out cool the high school never dies attitude, and we were the coolest kids in high school too. What? Oh, are you sad? It's okay kiddo.. Go cry in the corner.  

Just face it... We are 23 skidoo, neat-o, sweet, dope, fantabulous, even supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, plus that backwards like Ghostface Killah has stated he is as well, and we know this. We also know your government, we know your Wall-Mart greeter. We know her in China too. We even know your conspiracy theories as to who's secretly in charge, and we know who really is. We make our money, literally, as though we are a country, and maybe we are. Our funditure is like monopoly money, but real monopoly money. We are a monopoly and we run the "blog" game. ATTENTION: TO ALL "BLOGGERS," this is a warning shot. Don't compete with the faster zombies, it will be futile, join us, or go cry in the corner. When you are done, smile. We will regale you with incredibly interesting information impolitely intrusive yet inspired.

Just call this "blog" (to those who do not understand the word blog, its like a log with a "b") a happy proletarian do it yourself. Call the faster zombies "blog" a web adventure where the worlds most powerful humans (us, obviously) anonymously put our two cents in. Of course to signify our unique awesomeness this blog will be our points of view minus the facebook, myspace and twitterlike typed vomit and useless information.  Except our own.

The Faster Zombies project ("blog") will be a collection of entries that will be devoid of pictures regarding our personal lives. There will be no stories or pics of our pets, our children, or evidence of our drunken and moronic antics. It also will not include gossip about music, movies, politics, sports and other blah blah blah... 

Okay?!

No?

Geesh... Sorry Tiger.

Go cry in the corner.  Basically this is unlike your blog, your facebook, your myspace, your twitter, and it is better. If it is not better, then we will call our mass media mogul friend and have 88 reviews of us celebrating the fact that we are. Even Glenn Beck is going to holler at you. Even your mom will think so. She already does.  Does that make you sad? Go cry in the corner, again, if you must. Just let it all out there, no one will judge you, except maybe us, but we will privately chortle. There will be no visable shame of you, at least not on our end.  Unless you challenge our utter dominance, we are nice Fast Zombies. Celebrate this.

Do your celebrating as you enjoy a delicious Gyro sandwich, or rejoice our unwillingness to openly humiliate you while watching an endless stream of funny cat videos on youtube. We invite you to be filled with this glee all the time, even while taking a facebook quiz. Although we won't use type vomit in this "blog" we certainly don't hate facebook. Soon you may become a fan of us on this book of faces. Let's be clear about that.  

 
In fact.  We think that Facebook quizzes are great. We might make our own should a massive comet strike Dollywood and the air turns purple. Our soon to develop multitude offacebook "friends" love them. Your friends love them, you aren't annoying anyone. That is, not annoying anyone under the assumption that you've picked a really useful quiz such as "Which Blossom character does your diet resemble most?" Wouldn't you care to see what another's results are on your news feed? To read a lesser blog then this one? If not, then do you think they would like to see yours? If the answer to this is yes, then go join the Borg, (a.k.a. Maple Leafs fans) but first...  Go cry in the corner. More! MORE!!! LOBSTER!!!!! STEAK!!!!  We have no exact direction here, or do we?.. Be careful what questions you ask Tigers. Unless you are the Hanshin Tigers.

Note: As we stated earlier we shall not be discussing professional athletics, but the Hanshin Tigers are an entertaining team.

Anyway, enjoy a North Korean beer. We are up 24/7 folks, and we speak your language, and we don't care if you read this, but may get slightly annoyed if you break the code.

Viola folks..

Viola.. The zombies have arrived.  Don't get used to this blabbering, we are just test driving this new car.  ENJOY YOUR BEER!

-FZ