The Elegant Guide to: Drinking.

Don't drink and drive...
One Love.

Conspicuous consumption

Money does NOT equal style. 

Real fashion is ART.

The true way to be a recession fashionista is to think about what it means to be a consipicuous consumer and start being a conscious consumer.  Start a revolution and start a resolution to make conscious efforts on the impact of your decisions when it comes to spending.

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In honor of New Years coming up.. Let's go old school!

Okay world..  In honor of DJ Don't Panyk (and all parlimentary ex-pats in general) etc. representing Ottawa (the capital of Canada, not the other one), here is your 15 minutes.  Ottawa hip-hop back in the day shall be my old school video of the year nominee, for obvious reasons.

Korean drama fever

Do you like Korean soap operas?  I love them!  Right now Schmootzie and I are watching 찬란한 유산 aka Shining Inheritance.  It is a modern Cinderalla story that starts with a spunky lil lady whose  가방 (bag) gets switched up with a spoiled rich kid's.

But alas, things get kind of nuts!  The Cinderella character's father mysteriously "dies" and her evil stepmother kicks out her and her autistic brother. : ( Wretched! Like all good KDramas, the heroine perserveres.  (Her hairstyle looks like mine with a wrinkle in the middle).  I don't know what else happens because I'm only on episode 2.  But you can watch this drama with me at Drama Fever.  There are a few commercials, but you can buy a premium membership, watch on youtube or try to buy it online or at a Korean video store.  Anyhoo, for anyone interested in Korea or Korean culture definitely watch Kdramas.  I will be talking more about all things Korean later on.  Okay bye bye now.

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Hand me my leather

Because NYE is approaching...

Who doesn't love sequins?!

Holiday super-pill coming soon?

I'll let everyone reading this decide what they think.  As usual I caroused my favorite site of random (and occasionally flat out lies regarding conspiracy theory crap) disinfo.com **, and I thought this was interesting. 


Apparently, they are working to develop a pill that allows a person to never get drunk and/or hungover, but still feels good.  When I used to drink a lot I think I would have liked this pill should they have actually sold it, that stated wouldn't it kind of defeat the point of the millennium old idiotocracy (<----- should be a word) followed by the punishment?  

Australian Christmas... La La La La La

   
In respect for my Aussie brothers...  Even the folks who dislike me.. 
I now present perhaps the weirdest digi x-mass card I've found from your country/continent.

Enjoy?  For Folks who never thought about it, remember that winter in say, New York, is summer in Australia.  Imagine Christmas in July.  Weird right?  Whatever...  Peace Australia!
  
Also, Aussie folks, we don't see you on the new map!  Check in more regularly.  We know you used to, and we will facebook the s--t out of you until you do.  What are you mad we haven't invited more of you to contribute?  Go cry in the corner!  Or email us?  I hope all is well for summerchristmas!  





-Schmootzie

Queen Bitch

The last post reminded me of some iconic Lil Kim photos. I think these photos say A LOT. The one below being quite controversial.

Thoughts?

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Hello Kitty x Lady Gaga

Source
    

 

 

I like what I see. Looks good. Easy on the eyes. Entertaining enough. Reminds me of the photos for the Mac x Hello Kitty collabo. Whatevs. Post worthy.

What I don't like: the second picture reminds me of a magazine cover with Lil Kim on it. She was wearing a skirt with a bunch of stuffed animals attached to it. It was like a bunch of stuffed stuffies just stuffed on it. It was probably made by a famous designer and cost a shit ton. If anyone can find out the designer and provide a photo...we zombies will remember that you're cool and not eat your brains for breakfast.

If you are obsessed with hello kitty just the same then look at:
Hello Kitty Hell

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Crumbs

We Love Crumbs...Why?!  Stay tuned, folks.

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The Best of "the Best of"s

So the end of the year is approaching. Which means half of the internet is trying to name "the best" whatever of the year. TO make it doubly worse it is the end of the Decade (depending on when you started counting).
So this year there are twice as many lame lists to work through. SO I thought I would go through and pick the best "Best Of Lists" of 2009, instead of actually writing one of my own ;P

SO where to start?

BluBlu

Who is Blu?







Blu is an Italian street artist. Maybe you already heard of him. Regardless, we zombies like Blu.
Youtube x Blu



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It's hump day

Get you love drunk off my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,

My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps 

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Yeah Germany... And Dune (!?) and 1984

Since in the post before this I put up Jay-Z's cover of "Forever Young" I figured putting this up was the logical next step.  So... Here's the original.  Tah Dah!!  "Forever Young" folks, with the horn-like synth solo.  Alphaville put this out in 1984, and this video is also cool.  I think it looks like a remix version of David Lynch's Dune visually, but maybe I am alone in this opinion.  In order to test out your opinions (emails please) on this thought, I've also included the trailer from Dune.  If anyone actually emails us I will be somewhat surprised but, you never know.

Also, I've been posting a lot don't you think?  Other zombies?? There are a few. C'mon boys and girls.  I am simply not interesting enough to throw out three (so far) of these in two days. Also, Camel humps barely count.  Look how much I've typed! Typed damn it!  Okay its not as much as One Love.  Speaking of you, 

where are you?

Yeah London...

Well, Birmingham actually.  An artist on Kanye's G.O.O.D. Music label from there named Mr. Hudson has teamed up with Jay-Z to do a cover of?  Forever Young with a hip hop twist.
Yup, here's another one to file in the hip-hop 80's track covers.  
Truthfully I like it, maybe I'm not supposed to but whatever..
and the video is cool... I'll give it that 340px respect, why not..?
Word..
-Schmootzie

All things Zombie

In regards to the name of this blog (all hipster humor aside) it is about time that we talked about zombies. What is a zombie exactly?  Well, one can just google it and take the wikipedia route.   One may click this link for more information or simply refer to the dictionary definition.  

Why are they so popular?  Well, that is a bit trickier.  My guess is that on some level many people feel like zombies themselves as they trudge to and from work on their endless quests to earn a living.  I have certainly felt this way, and although I consider myself alive, there are times where I certainly resemble the walking dead during this routine.  More so, I am filled with a general disappointment with the life I lead and the society I live in.  While I am not violent at all I can see how others may wish that they could be occasionally and thus subconsciously at least love the very concept of zombies.

Zombies are also quite popular in film, in fact they have somewhat recently inspired a mock-umentary of sorts the trailer of which can be seen below. 

In regards to the name of this blog (all hipster humor aside) it is about time that we talked about zombies. What is a zombie exactly?  Well, one can just google it and take the wikipedia route.   One may click this link for more information or simply refer to the dictionary definition.  

Why are they so popular?  Well, that is a bit trickier.  My guess is that on some level many people feel like zombies themselves as they trudge to and from work on their endless quests to earn a living.  I have certainly felt this way, and although I consider myself alive, there are times where I certainly resemble the walking dead during this routine.  More so, I am filled with a general disappointment with the life I lead and the society I live in.  While I am not violent at all I can see how others may wish that they could be occasionally and thus subconsciously at least love the very concept of zombies.

While this film goes into great detail, and is pretty funny (its even a "watch instantly" option on netflix) it only scratches the surface of how old the concept of zombies really is.  

Hilarity ensues...

I obviously cribbed this off of like 10 other websites, but still.. From the aggressively angry snowball folks to the cop admitting he pulled a gun out as a result of their snowball fight, this one must be shared. There's an ad in the beginning, but it is worth the wait I think.

-Schmootzie

You got an issue? Shred it.

A huge thank you to the as of yet unnamed zombie (we hope)..

Yeah I'm sure some readers have seen this before, but I actually have family members I'd do this to,

except we wear the same size ... ... ..

So I'd probably just steal the laundry rather then do this. To see more, go here..

-Schmootzie

RIP Brittany Murphy

Here she is performing with the Pussy Cat Dolls.

Snowtastic

Yay!

It's go time..

There you go humans... A double shot of mixes for those of us who have been around a few too many blocks and don't take anything for granted. Everything eventually gets better for everyone, and every bad experience ultimately makes one smarter and stronger, but until that happens folks need to just hold on. Music certainly helps.

While the snow falls at 3:00am...

Tonight, in honor of those just tuning in, and in honor of our recently released brothers,

Faster Zombies will blast out the second installment of our Welcome to Crumbville podcast series, and re-up on the original. Check the weather in Philly, where Lan Am has honored us with some server space, and we shall compliment the faster stuff with chill mode 2010.

Sounds good to me.

Enjoy the goodies around 3:00am NYC time.

-Schmootzie

The Beautiful Life?

So Ashton Kutcher produces a show, and it fails....then it ends up on you tube?
are we seeing the future of TV here (possibly in reverse)? Are popular youtuber's going to end up with their own TV shows? Or will you tube replace TV networks all together...
you decide...



I had to post this...its about models, fashion, and we like to debate whether it is Philly, NY, Toronto, or Montreal, playing the part of NYC
One Love

Oh sweet Jesus...

Source

I've always been slightly been disturbed by Asian teenagers, but this goes beyond disturbing. Obsessed teen fans in Korea are starting to write to their favorite Kpop artists in their own blood. While some fans are pricking fingers and even slicing their own wrists, one fan wrote in menstrual blood. If this fascinates you, google away. In the meantime, contain yourself while you watch this Kpop star's music video:

*Not safe for Korean teenage girls

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귀엽다

The Korean written language, hangul, is so cute! The word clothing looks like a cute little stick figure! How easy is that to remember?

옷

holding hands: 옷옷

A paper chain of little people: 옷옷옷옷옷

ㅎ_ㅎ

Yay!


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OMG, retro...

A coworker sent me a facebook event invite today that blew Schmootzie's mind. I said, "They stole your idea. There's an ALL VINYL party at the Barbary tonight." So basically a bunch of djs are actually, for real, for real....DJING!

It all started when...
Schmootzie was thinking about djing in public, versus his usual spot, which is a small cubby hole under the sink. A regular Charles Mansonlike contortionist he is! And anyhoo, he wanted to work with records because he felt that records were better because A: the rarity in vinyl is real as opposed to the epic stream of downloads that the evil interweb has brought to your local nightclub speaker and B: are scratchball and C: actually require djing as opposed to button pressing and digital scratch mimicking. That's all.

There you have it folks. People who never heard Schmootzie's ideas, stole them, yet again. And hipsters in Fishtown Philadelphia have decided that really djing is a novelty, like throwing a sock hop. Where was this when I was in college? OH wait I still AM in college.

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Ladies, do you like this?

We faster zombies, after stealing our name from D-Mass, and our vloglike content from everywhere have a clear mission. We will bring you the best of everything we find interesting, educational lessons, editorials and occasionally fashion. Taken from DirtyFlaws.com we bring you one weird outfit. If my woman wore this she may not be allowed to walk next to me, or maybe I would dig it? Nah, I'm sticking by the first option, I'd be too worried she'd poke my "stomach." Either way, it is certainly worth a thought. Fashion is constantly evolving.

-Schmootzie

From weird airport paintings to this.. Oh Denver, you amaze me.

Yeah.. Denver is going to be on my amigos best place list perhaps. What's up with that airport painting though? I've seen it, google that and let your conspiracy side go nuts, then check yourself there tiger.. No one cares, its just to be observed and noted. Go cry in the corner if you must.

Crumbville

The next podcast is simply too weird folks..

What?

Oh come on!! A man can't mash up three completely unrelated song beginnings into some odd Turkish pop music from the 60's?

Yeah... I suppose not....

Anyway, Crumbville is coming real soon ya'll..

Hang in there. Peace to the 300+ visitors, or let's be honest here 150 or so of you, please bless us with some feedback emails okay? Okay.. Thanks..

Peace Nishinari!!

Since I mentioned Tin's Hall, what's up boys? I might as well throw Shingo some love right?

Osaka isn't candyland folks.. To everyone getting bent in Shin Imamiya, I hope sunday is going well.. PEACE TENNOJI!!! To the Nagai Thug who just paid bail, everyone who knows him, please communicate as much as possible.

Oh yeah!!! ITS SATURDAY!

Wow... I had to throw this up just cuz Kanye West is (??), and cuz its...

Wtf mate? Does Tin's hall in Osaka need a new board, or is apocalypse kinda closer then we hoped? Check it out here. I'm waiting for Chanel light sabors, and hipster DJ laptop cases.. Real DJ's only use laptops right? Then I'm all in.. I'm current, I get the kids, I'm up to date! Let's get our fashion on! I'll be copping alllll of this. Right after it turns out Avatar is a true story.

-Schmootzie

Naw naw this is a HIT

Man...why everyone hatin' on Soulja Boy? LMAO

THIS IS A MUTHAF--KIN HIT!

Pt. 4 Mastering:

Talking about mastering to a bunch of none engineers is like talking to kids about sex.
(This isn't super funny, but why they and who did make this??? -schmootzie)



You don't want them to do it but you know that they are going to anyway. To make things worse there are so many horrible tutorials online written by people who do not know what they are doing. Sure if you are mastering music that is made with soft synths you can get away with it because your dealing with perfectly clean audio, but add a vocal to that mix, or any outboard equipment and things start to fall apart.
So what do the pros use? And I am not talking about the hacks that will master a song for 20$'s online but the real pros that can charge anything from 100$'s to 1000$'s a track?

Part 3: Music Making Tips....Mixing:

Part 3 Mixing:
Okay, this is part 3, so no more introductions etc. we are just going to get started right away with tips which will help better your mixing.



Do yourself a favor and at least watch this last video...(or what I say next will not make any sense).



The last way to add space to your mixes is through panning. By strategically panning your instruments subtly across the stereo field you will leave more room for your vocals. Even a minor pan of 5% can really open up your mixes.
"Traditionally" the instruments in the middle of your mix are Bass, Kick, Snare, and Vocals remember to use shelving EQ's, high/low pass filters and subtle compression to give each one of these elements their own space.

Production and recording on a budget pt.2 Production

Intro.:
There seems to be some sort of debate on what a producer is. Honestly, I do not see why.
Let's just start by ending this debate right now. The producer has two jobs:
1. He/She is responsible for selecting the technology used on the recording.
2. He/She is responsible for quality control on the record.
If you are not fulfilling these 2 simple criteria you are not producing a record.
It is important to remember that if someone is hiring you to produce a record they are depending on you to make sure that their record meets your (hopefully) high standards.

Let's start (music prod./recording on a budget series)

(please note *= Recommendation)

Let me just start by saying that things have changed dramatically since I built my current setup.
My soundcard cost me 700$'s and it was considered an affordable alternative to the Protools Digi 01.
Today for that much money you can get a decent *M-Box with Protools LE for around 200$'s

Throw in Fruity Loops (which you can Rewire through Protools) for about 150$'s and you can make your beats.

Of course you can always trade out Fruity for Reason which costs around 240$'s or so. And you would still have money left over for a half decent mic.

The only reason I can logically see for not going with the M-Box are
1/ You want more than just 2 inputs.
2/You prefer to use a particular DAW (Nuendo, Sonar, Logic)
3/You want access to the plethora of plug-ins available on the other DAWs
In which case you already know what you need/want.

Random music on my Ipod

Calvin Harris-I'm not alone.

This is the type of music that gets the Girls on the dance floor and the guys who aren't too cool to dance with them laid. (Dancing men=sex with women...yes that is what I said.)

Tinie Tempah

This guy is bringing some UK Hiphop influenced music I can actually bang...

Let's just call him the Ty for 2009/10...

If you don't know who Ty is then please school yourself starting with Wait a minute.

I've got a series on recording and production both in the works

peace,

One Love.

breaking news!

This requires discussion... Obviously in regards to the computer graphics, oh the vacuum picture is kind of weird too don't you think?

Thanks A!

This goes out to all my n*njas...

In the above clip. Ken Jeong, a Korean American, often referred to as Dr. Ken, plays a typical Asian bad guy. While he uses a thick accent throughout the movie, I find the role to be puposely over the top and tongue in cheek. Zach Galifianakis states, "I hate Godzilla too," when Dr. Ken jumps out naked. The irony here is that a Korean American actor playing a Chinese baddie is mistaken as Japanese. See thats funny, we all make fun of each other.

Things are getting a bit better. Here is some evidence:

Emails  please....

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Blog counter

Okay folks..

I (Schmootzie) have a problem. This goes far further then typical social crap and medical concerns in no way, but in other ways is quite serious. It certainly is a MUCH bigger headache indeed. We have (clearly) quite a few visitors, and well downloaded (and hopefully listened to) podcasts, but NO EMAILS! That's just plain rude folks. So in order to entice ya'll, I am going to put up a few questions. Those who answer these get rewarded much like the contestant on the clip shown below the following pictures and questions.

Here they go..

1) What is this?

2) Where is Crumbville for you? This is basically a freebie...

3) What was the name of Oprah's sitcom?

4) How do you use Google Wave? (I am admittedly baffled)

5) What highway in Arizona has the same number as an album by Vangelis

(and others) released on Vertigo records in the 70's and is somewhat creepy?

6) What is a Schmootzie?

7) Where is the Clarksburg that knows where you are (should it need to, and let's hope not)?

Get a few right and you'll get this.. Or maybe a real prize?

This goes out to all my ninjas

Minions...Let's go down the rabbit hole!

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Heard of this?

Hijack the Terrorist Group, a U.K. hip hop crew with one heck of a risky name in the post 9/11 world. Luckily for them they came out long before that. Do your homework if you're interested. They were part of Ice-T's crew the Rhyme Syndicate. Why do they sound American? Come on U.K. represent your accents!

-Schmootzie